Maya Lately

Maya threw up today. She was taking a nap when suddenly she started screaming for me. I ran in and she was freaking out because she said she was going to throw up. Seconds later, plehhh! Lots of pukage over and over again. She handled it like a champ, though. When she had finally emptied her stomach on the carpet in my room she just looked at me and said, “Can you clean me mommy? I’m all yucky.” Sweet girl!

My sweet little Maya has been little miss. attitude lately. She has discovered talking back and is often blatantly disobedient. Oh yes, she will look me in the eye as she does the opposite of what I have asked her to do. She gets mad when I start a countdown, you know when you tell your kids to do something and they have 3 seconds to jump into action? Well, when I start the countdown she screams, “Stop counting!!!!”. The other day we were at TJ Maxx and she was sitting in the basket with Arabella and she had nothing but complaints.

“Stop looking at me like that, Arabella!”

“Stop singing!”

Oh boy, their teenage years are gonna be F.U.N.

Of course she’s still awesome! She is so sweet most of the time. She knows Arabella likes to hold hands when we are walking around and she doesn’t mind doing that. I love it when they hold hands by choice!

She’s can also be random and very funny. Lately she’s been asking me the strangest question. Example:

“Mommy, does the food have a mouth? It can’t talk?”

That is her main question. What has a mouth and what can talk? I just love my little Nena and her confidence, stubbornness, sweetness and yes, even her randomness.

Here is a video I took of nothing super exciting except some freakin’ awesome Maya moves;) haha!

Worry

If there is anything that is true about motherhood its that as a mother you worry. My worrying began when I found out I was pregnant with Aidan, over 4 years ago. Isn’t it funny that it starts as soon as you know they are there. I worried about his development in the womb. I worried about the food I was eating and even the air I was breathing! Then, he was born. I don’t think there are words to describe how much I worried about my baby boy. Obviously his initial fight for his life shook me to my core. After he came home I was so overwhelmed, stressed and WORRIED about him that I would literally wake up standing by my bed thinking I had him in my arms and when I would come to I would go into this crazy panic looking for him. He was, of course, in his basinet right next to me but that was just how sleep deprived, delirious and worried I was.

When Aidan was a baby I cried AT LEAST once a day. I struggled several times a day trying to teach him how to eat. Something that came so naturally and easy for most babies was something he had to go to therapy for. I worried that he would never be able to eat and that he would have to be fed through the g-tube for the rest of his life. He didn’t:)

Today, Aidan is almost 5 years old and guess what, I’m still worried. When I started writing this post I was in tears. A concern that I’ve had for a couple of years was just confirmed…actually I should say I just accepted it. Aidan has a receptive speech disorder. It’s not a devastating diagnosis but don’t we all want nothing but the best for our kids? I’m convinced and have read several articles and studies that find a correlation between children that have been put under anesthesia and learning disabilities. I counted a minimum of 12 times that Aidan was put under. I just want to cry. It was the price he had to pay to be here with us.

Aidan’s teacher encouraged me to have him evaluated earlier in the year. I had him evaluated and the therapist confirmed our suspicions. Suddenly everything made so much sense. All of those times I got so frustrated with him when he could not give an appropriate response to a simple question even after telling him how to respond over and over and over again. It clicked but I was still in denial. I thought that all he needed was school and that it would resolve itself. It has gotten A LOT better and he has progressed so much but today I realized that it is still there and will probably always be there. This is yet another battle that he, with Rich and I by his side, will have to fight.

I need to clarify. I was in tears because I was angry with myself. I was helping Aidan with his homework and I lost my patience. I’m so disappointed with myself that often I am not the mother that my sweet boy needs me to be for him. It makes him sad when I get frustrated with him. Today was different. I have completely accepted his disability and WILL be all that he deserves.

Ahoy!

Best thing about this outfit? She LOVES it! I’m pretty sure she feels beautiful in it. She doesn’t take the hat off and she ate up the attention she got at church. What am I gonna do about this girl?

4 Is My Favorite Number

I’ve decided that for Aidan, 4 is the magical age. He has gone through so many little kid stages that are hard to deal with. You know, the terrible 1, 2, and 3’s? Oh, I love that little boy to pieces! I would be lying if I said he has been our “easiest” child but I have to say he is certainly becoming just that. I don’t know if it’s because he’s in school now or just his age but he has matured and become the most affectionate, loving and thoughtful little boy ever! That’s not to say he doesn’t have his moments…he does, but in for the most part he is so kind.

Dear sweet Aidan, I ADORE you! You know what I love about you?

-I love that you run and give me lots of snuggles every day after waking up from you nap.

-I love that you still take a nap!

-I love your cute drawings. Your little stick figures crack me up.

This is your most recent drawing and it is also the 1st time you’ve creatively colored the belly with so many colors. This one made me smile:)

-I love that you love me and ask for kisses every day. I hope you will always give me kisses.

-I love how you dance. Your moves haven’t changed much since you were 2. They are still really cute.

-I love that you really want to make good choices. You try very hard and get sad when you make bad choices. I love your innocence.

-I love how much you love your “stisters”, especially Maya. Your whole little world revolves around her. It actually drives me crazy but I guess its sweet that all you want to do after you wake up from your nap is wake Maya up. You just can’t be without her! When she finally wakes up you greet her with an enthusiastic,”Maya!!!!” and hug her way too much.

-I love that you blow raspberries on Maya and Arabella’s bellies. They love it too.

-I love that you love doing your homework. It’s hard and you sometimes struggle but you don’t get frustrated, you just keep trying.

-I love that you are always singing or humming. Not a moment of silence with you;)

I love you because you are special and you are mine.

Bergeron Park

The kids and I have been going to the park a lot lately. After naps the kids have so much energy that I go nuts waiting for Rich to get home and help me tame the craziness. My only chance of survival is getting out of the house and going to the park. Like I said, we go a lot. Today, as we were walking out the door to head on over to the park I looked at my camera and hesitated. Should I take it? I don’t really feel like taking pics. I think I’ll just chill on the bench this time. Of course, I regretted that decision when we pulled up and Aidan’s bestest friend, Zyon, was there. Dang it! My phone will do.

Watching them play together was the cutest thing ever! They were such boys running, toughing around a bit and even playing with a beetle. Gross. I was sad that I didn’t have my camera. Good thing nothing else really cool happened like Maya climbing her 1st tree. Oh wait, that DID happen!

She was so happy up there and didn’t want to come down. She sat up there for a good 15 minutes before she finally decided she was done. I have a feeling she is going to be climbing many trees from now on. Thank goodness for awesome camera phones, right!

We Are Moving To………….

UTAH!

Oh yeah, That’s right! We got our #1 choice on our ranking list! That was so unexpected! I can’t even describe how I feel. No really, I’m confused. I am so excited for a new adventure and yet at the same time I am so sad to be leaving South Florida. But if we have to move and leave Florida, Utah is exactly where I want to go.

The kids are excited about snowy winters.  What am I most excited about? Two things, 1: Temple Square! It is such a special place to me, I just can not wait to go back! 2: A yard! Can’t wait to live in a home that we fit in with a yard for the kids to run and play in.

Change. It’s always hard but always good.

30

I am 30 years old. Wow, time sure does fly! I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about turning 30 but I have to confess, I quite like it! Everybody wants to stay in their 20’s forever and not grow old but a friend of mine wrote something to me on my facebook that has forever changed my attitude about aging. She said that when she turned 30 she was so depressed about it until a good friend of hers found out she had cancer…at 30! She said that from that point forward she would ALWAYS be grateful for every year of life. That just really struck a cord with me. I am absolutely grateful that I am now 30 years old  and that I’ve enjoyed 29 years of life. I look at my little family and think, how could I ever be sad about aging. It would just be ungrateful.

Ok, now on to the good stuff. I had THE most amazing birthday. How did I get so lucky to hit the jackpot with this man of mine? He made me feel like a queen! I got to sleep in and then when I did finally wake up I was treated to my favorite, french toast and fresh cantaloupe juice. Yum!

 

Then, he sent me off to take a shower and told me to shave (it’s a sad day when your husband has to ask you to shave). So we all piled into the car and I was so excited to find out what kind of adventures he had planned for us on my birthday.

Here is a video I took during the drive to the unknown destination. It cut off at the end. Lame. Also, video taken on my Iphone. I didn’t know you are supposed to turn it sideways so it’s all scrunched. Oh well.

He drove in a direction I wasn’t expecting and then stopped and told me to get out of the car and have a nice day. Huh? I looked out the window and realized we were in front of the SPA!!!! I had never been to a spa before. I could not even believe it! He said he would be back to get me later on in the day. O…K…

I walked in and told them my name and the lady said, “Oh yes! Your husband has everything planned and paid for you. He was so excited when he called in. You will be spending a few hours with us, you will be getting a massage, facial, lunch and finish off with a manicure and pedicure. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

SWEET!!!!!!!!!

I was pampered and fed. What more does a girl need? After 5 hours at the spa I did a little shopping at TJ Maxx and then Rich picked me up. We headed home and talked about what we should do the rest of the day. We decided we would all go out to eat and then go home and watch a movie. Sounded good to me! We got home and were cuddling on the couch when there was a knock at the door. Rich acted all shocked and said, “Who could that be?”. It was Lucy!!! Oh my gosh, are you kidding me!?!? She was there to babysit the kids while we went on a date. I felt pretty special:)

Rich and I went to eat at the yummy french place we had gone to with our friends and then watched Mirror Mirror. It was a perfect day.

I love Rich. He makes me feel special and appreciated. I told him that I felt guilty, like it was all too much. You know what he said? He said that I deserved it because I work so hard and do so much for him and the kids. Best husband ever? Best birthday ever? Yes and yes.

I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!!!!

Serving Sam

A couple months ago I was in a big rush to get to the gym for my Zumba class. It was 6:15pm and Zumba was going to start at 6:30. Rich was late getting home that day so I was all stressed that I wasn’t going to make it in time. As I rushed out the door and hopped in Rich’s car I noticed a little old man slooooowly making his way towards the building next to mine. He walked with a cane and was tugging behind him a little cart on wheels filled with groceries. I sat there in my car for a few seconds, torn between asking him if I could help him and being late to Zumba or just zipping off and maybe making it in time. I’m ashamed to say that I even had that debate in my head but I am forever grateful that I made the right decision.

I jumped out of the car and ran over to my slow moving friend and the conversation went a little like this:

“Hi! Can I help you with that?”

“You sure can!”

“Great! What’s your name?”

“Sam”

“Nice to meet you Sam. My name is Jessica and I live in the building next door.”

We went on to have a very brief conversation about where he is from and I told him where I am from. He had such a kind demeanor about him. I was so happy that I had taken the opportunity to serve him. I drove to Zumba with a smile on my face:)

Life went on and every time I would see Sam’s car I would wonder about him and his life. A couple weeks ago I even saw him in his kitchen cooking dinner. I said to myself, “Hi Sam!”.

This past Thursday, the kids and I met Rich after work to go out for dinner. When we got home our entire parking lot was police taped off and there were several police cars and even a Crime Scene vehicle. When we walked up to our condo I noticed that there were several officers surrounding Sam’s car. All of the doors were open and they were taking pictures. My heart sunk.

Sam’s car is the silver Matrix on the far left.

I later learned that Sam had taken his life. He was 97 years old, alone, and suffered from unbearable pain in his legs. He just could not take the pain anymore. I’ve spent the past few days feeling guilty. Why didn’t I do more? I knew he was alone, why didn’t I swing by every now and then and drop off a cookie or a cupcake? Just let him know that I cared. I can’t help but think that people are placed in our path for a reason. Did I do all that I was meant to do? We are here to love and serve each other and that is what should always be at the forefront of our minds.

I’m so grateful to have had that brief encounter with Sam. It has changed the way I will think of those that I will serve in the future. I think I will live my life a little differently because of Sam.

A Kodak-less Moment

You know those moments when you wish you had a camera crew following you around filming your life? I had one of those tonight. It was just me and the kids tonight and no good can come when it’s bed time and I’m out numbered. It started with one raspberry, which led to another and another and another…I wasn’t the one giving the raspberries. I was all out attacked by all 3 kids! Aidan on one arm and Maya on the other. Arabella? Oh she got my face. To her a raspberry is basically spitting, which she was doing over and over on my chest and face.

It was a moment:) I loved it.