On my mind/Dear Maya

I tend to be a person with a lot on my mind, ALWAYS. I think a lot and not about trivial things but usually deep, serious things. I think it kind of drives Rich crazy sometimes. I’m always wanting to have deep conversations with him. People who don’t know me very well probably find this hard to believe because I’m a bit of a jokester. Those that I spend more time with know that I love to talk “serious”. I don’t know why I’m writing all of this…I guess it’s because a lot of times I want to blog about the “serious” things that are on my mind and I don’t end up doing it because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy (even though I am). I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna blog about stuff I think about because it’s the real me. The very few of you who actually take the time to read my blog are gonna get a little glimps into the mess that is my mind…..brace yourself!

This isn’t deep stuff but today I’ve been thinking about how quickly life changes. The past few years have been H-A-R-D!!! I’m talkin’ babies with special needs barely a year apart each hard. Do you feel me? Probably not, but we all have our own challenges. Anyway, I was just thinking about how everything seems to be getting easier because my babies are growing up! Yay! Boooo:( Hooray! Waaaa:( Mixed feelings.

Why mixed feelings? Because for some reason I feel like I missed Maya’s “babyhood”. I mean, where did it go? All of a sudden my beautiful baby Maya is almost three! THREE!?!? I don’t really like that. Here comes the guilt~So, when Maya was born I was focused on Aidan because of his many surgeries and doctor’s visits and then 6 months later I was pregnant. When Arabella was born she needed most of my attention because of her condition. Maya has always been “the healthy one”.  I feel guilty even though I know that Maya has gotten more than enough attention and love. I guess when you blink and see that your kids have grown so quickly, you just wish you could relive the past few years of their little lives.

Maya,

I’ve told you this before and it’s still so true- You have always been exactly who I needed you to be. So calm, patient and full of smiles and love. A best friend to Aidan and a momma’s girl for me.

You are NOT a follower, you are a leader! Even though you are very young I can see how confident and independent you are.  This will definitely be one of your strengths. Please be nice to me when you are a teenager:)

You are so crazy! Always jumping, flipping, running, somersaulting. Arabella’s therapist has practically BEGGED me to put you in gymnastics. You love to hang on the monkey bars and jump off the merry-go-round. You are our little gymnast.

It is unreal to me how quickly you are growing. Slow down a bit will ya? Let me catch my breath so I can keep up with you. I love you, my little monkey! Keep up the good work;)

Love,

Mommy