“Normal”

It’s been a good long while since we’ve felt normal. Not only is it hard to settle in to living in a new country with new people, food, home and schedule, but you throw on top of all of that sickness and it certainly makes for the perfect storm. About 1.5 months ago I decided it was time for me to come off of the zoloft(depression meds). Something about the stresses of having a trach baby always makes my hormones go funky and I need that extra help to not be crazy lady. Anyway, we were post trach, and life was about as normal as it was going to get, and I felt great so I went ahead and came completely off after doing a long and slow taper so as to minimize the withdrawal effects. The withdrawal after Arabella was brutal so I was careful to come off nice and slow. One week in, after coming completely off, I started to feel really horrible. Regular headaches, foggy brain, sluggish vision and just a general crappy feeling 24/7 began to plague me. I couldn’t enjoy anything! I even had this freaky rage that would build up inside of me. I tried to console myself by telling myself it would be short-lived but after 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month(!!!) I really started to feel complete desperation. I was ready to go back on the stupid meds just to make this nightmare go away. I stuck it out just one more week and finally, a week ago today, my symptoms disappeared! I am so happy to feel like myself again.

 

Now, on to Rich. My poor guy has it rough right now. About a month ago he started having stomach issues. I will not go in to a lot of detail but lets just say that he has spent a lot of time in the bathroom, no longer has the mucus lining in his intestines and is having some bleeding. At first we thought he just had some kind of stomach bug, but after a week of some pretty terrible symptoms he finally went in to see a doctor. They ran some tests but they all came back negative for any type of bacteria. His symptoms have continued and of course, as life would have it, he was due to go back to the states for SOS for 5 weeks. As soon as he got there he went to urgent care and got a great doctor from India who had seen Rich’s symptoms many times in his country so he diagnosed Rich with some amoebas that are doing serious damage to his intestines. He gave him the antibiotic and Rich has been on it for 6 days now. He hasn’t seen too much of a difference yet but we think that is because of all of the damage that has already been done. We are really hopeful that with time, his symptoms will lessen and he will have less discomfort.

 

Ugh. I know everybody feels this way but lately we feel like we can’t catch a break. We whine and complain to each other and try to encourage each other and the thing that has helped us get through without too much moping has been gratitude. So fitting for the month of November but truly what has helped us not have too much self pity. We remind each other that no matter what, we have each other. We have 4 healthy kids, a safe home, a really incredible life that, no matter where it leads us we are together. It’s another long and crazy story but in the middle of all of the health struggles we were faced with the possibility that we might have to go back to the states. Again, it’s a long story and while the situation hasn’t been cleared up yet, we are sure that it is NOT a possibility. When I first heard this though, I cried like a baby! Rich reminded me that even if they sent us to the tiniest hick town in the states it wouldn’t matter because we would have each other. Yes, we are so blessed. This month I’ve learned to focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have and it’s made me a better person.