So, I’ve been in quite the funk lately. I hate it when that happens! It happens every few months especially when there is a change in my life/routine. Hello! Just had a BIG ONE! So, I’ve been having good and bad days but that is the sure sign of a funk for me. I have to take one day at a time and I’m never really happy. On my down days I blame everything for my unhappiness…the house is a mess, I can’t keep up with the laundry, it’s so stinkin’ cold that I can’t leave the house, I miss Florida, etc… I keep thinking that taking a break from the kids is what I need and when I get it I don’t feel any happier.
I JUST had an “aha moment” today. Why am I in this funk? Why can’t I think of anything to look forward to on any given day? This makes me sound like a horrible mother. I LOVE my kids! I love them more than anything and would give my very life for them. I do find joy in being their mother and being with them every day. It’s not about them, it’s about me. I realized today that it has been months since I’ve consistently done something that brings my heart joy. I had a taste of what I’ve been missing a couple of weeks ago when I was making Maya’s halloween costume. As I was sewing her owl costume I literally got a high. I’m not exaggerating! I felt like I had taken some kind of drug. My heart was racing, my hands were jittery and I was beaming! I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I finished her costume at 11pm and it took me a good hour to calm myself down and stop grinning from ear to ear. Creating brought me so much joy.
I’ve fallen into the rut of cleaning the house, running kids too and from school, grocery shopping and trying to catch up with the laundry. These things, while part of my responsibility as a wife and mother which I love being, do not fulfill me as a person. I’ve done myself a dis-service by not allowing myself to do the things I love until my house is perfect. Fact: It’s NEVER going to be perfect! I need to take time for myself and do the things I love to do like crafting, sewing, crocheting, photography and ZUMBA! I’ve been quite bitter towards Utah because I’ve been blaming the state for not having a Zumba class available for me with child care down the street like Florida had. I need to adjust and settle for Zumba videos for now. Mostly, what I need to learn is that it’s O.K. It’s ok if the house isn’t impeccable and the laundry isn’t done. If I take some time to do what I love a few times a week, I will be a much happier person and a happy mommy makes for a happy home;D
It is time! Time to get out of this funk!
1 comments:
love it! way to figure out a plan and DO something about it. I have been in a funk lately too and while I think my reason is slightly different, I know the approach can be the same. I think I will go running tomorrow :) and maybe do a craft this week too! happy crafting Jess!
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